( It's the fact that he doesn't know if it's his place to even ask, but. Dick is genuinely the closest one here to him in age... which he knows still has to be more than a little strange for the man there with him on the rooftop.
His cape flutters around him as a rogue breeze drifts by β gently caresses against his arm as he stands there in his silence. It's only after a moment that he just barely turns some to look over to the other man. )
[ But it's not something he can't answer, and, more than that, it's something he's talked about with his own Bruce from time to time. The man raised him from a child to manhood and weathered all the storms of Dick's various relationships along the way. He and Alfredβ
But it still hurts too much to think about Alfred.
Dick blows out a breath and sets his hands on his hips, glancing out over the empty city before he looks back at Bruce. ]
I don't have any. But I did have a... I thought for a while that maybe I was having one, not that long ago. She and I broke up not too long after that. I was so scared when it happened. I definitely didn't feel ready.
[ He looks back out over the buildings, reaching up toward the sky like so many fingers, thinking back to the way Shawn had yelled, how they'd both cried. ]
And here I thought I didn't need to have the safe sex talk with you.
( Despite being dryly said, it's meant to be a joke, which he's sure Dick can easily enough pick up on. But the thought of Dick not feeling as though he was ready to have a child... he can relate. Especially being here and suddenly bombarded with people who claim to be those who had been taken in under his care and are considered family. He knows the story β knows that he'll come to adopt a young and newly orphaned Dick Grayson at some point in his future, but. That's just it. He doesn't know if he will or not. Doesn't know just how much his Gotham splits from Damian's or Dick's.
Still, his being here has made him think. )
Sometimes I wonder if I'll be any good at it. Damian... he's very set in his ways. Stubborn. Determined. I'm not always sure if the things I say or the things I do are what he wants or needs. If my being here with him helps him any or just ends up hindering him.
( Expression somber, he slowly flicks his gaze over to Dick again. )
But then I look at you and I think, some version of me must have got it right.
[ Blue eyes widen and glance over to Bruce in clear surprise, and Dick is, for a moment... speechless. ]
...
[ (He remembers another time when Bruce was depending on him, when he was doubting himself. The only time I ever feel pride is when I look at Nightwing. Sometimes I think he's the only thing I ever did right.
It moves him to his core, even as he stands still, his expression open and pleased and abashed all at the same time. ]
We had our ups and downs. But I love him, and I never could have become what I am, who am I, without him.
[ Unlike so many of the others, he'd had loving parents before he found himself under Bruce's care, and he doesn't doubt that he would have grown into a decent man under their guidance. But he wouldn't have been Robin. He wouldn't have been Nightwing. ]
I think when the time comes, you'll do just fine. I've seen how you are with Damian. And believe me, no matter how stubborn he is and how impossible it can feel to even get him to open up a crack, it's been good for him to have you here.
( The reassurance is something needed β something he maybe always needs when it comes to handling something as fragile as the parental relationship between a father figure and boy. Because he second guesses himself at times β sometimes loses his temper and gets mad at Damian. Granted, it's not often it happens, but. When it does, it usually results in him ignoring Damian or locking himself away in his tower. Is that for the best? Is that cruel of him? He doesn't know. He's still trying to figure it all out. )
You seem better at all this, even if you're not a father yourself yet.
( A turn to him, he stares to the man β really looks at him there. )
If I meet my own version of you in my Gotham, I can only hope I can put him on a path that leads to the man you've become.
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no subject
His cape flutters around him as a rogue breeze drifts by β gently caresses against his arm as he stands there in his silence. It's only after a moment that he just barely turns some to look over to the other man. )
Do you ever want to have kids?
( A beat then, as he realizes. )
Do you? Back in your Gotham.
no subject
Uh...
[ But it's not something he can't answer, and, more than that, it's something he's talked about with his own Bruce from time to time. The man raised him from a child to manhood and weathered all the storms of Dick's various relationships along the way. He and Alfredβ
But it still hurts too much to think about Alfred.
Dick blows out a breath and sets his hands on his hips, glancing out over the empty city before he looks back at Bruce. ]
I don't have any. But I did have a... I thought for a while that maybe I was having one, not that long ago. She and I broke up not too long after that. I was so scared when it happened. I definitely didn't feel ready.
[ He looks back out over the buildings, reaching up toward the sky like so many fingers, thinking back to the way Shawn had yelled, how they'd both cried. ]
But I do want them, someday. Yeah.
no subject
( Despite being dryly said, it's meant to be a joke, which he's sure Dick can easily enough pick up on. But the thought of Dick not feeling as though he was ready to have a child... he can relate. Especially being here and suddenly bombarded with people who claim to be those who had been taken in under his care and are considered family. He knows the story β knows that he'll come to adopt a young and newly orphaned Dick Grayson at some point in his future, but. That's just it. He doesn't know if he will or not. Doesn't know just how much his Gotham splits from Damian's or Dick's.
Still, his being here has made him think. )
Sometimes I wonder if I'll be any good at it. Damian... he's very set in his ways. Stubborn. Determined. I'm not always sure if the things I say or the things I do are what he wants or needs. If my being here with him helps him any or just ends up hindering him.
( Expression somber, he slowly flicks his gaze over to Dick again. )
But then I look at you and I think, some version of me must have got it right.
no subject
...
[ (He remembers another time when Bruce was depending on him, when he was doubting himself. The only time I ever feel pride is when I look at Nightwing. Sometimes I think he's the only thing I ever did right.
It moves him to his core, even as he stands still, his expression open and pleased and abashed all at the same time. ]
We had our ups and downs. But I love him, and I never could have become what I am, who am I, without him.
[ Unlike so many of the others, he'd had loving parents before he found himself under Bruce's care, and he doesn't doubt that he would have grown into a decent man under their guidance. But he wouldn't have been Robin. He wouldn't have been Nightwing. ]
I think when the time comes, you'll do just fine. I've seen how you are with Damian. And believe me, no matter how stubborn he is and how impossible it can feel to even get him to open up a crack, it's been good for him to have you here.
no subject
You seem better at all this, even if you're not a father yourself yet.
( A turn to him, he stares to the man β really looks at him there. )
If I meet my own version of you in my Gotham, I can only hope I can put him on a path that leads to the man you've become.