[ There's a moment where he focuses on the kitten, thinking it over. Of course she sees right through him; he's not the only one who opted to take a break from the party. The thing that catches him up is what he almost tosses back at her without thinking: you're not old enough to drink.
Which, she isn't. And that's nothing new, so he's not quite sure why it suddenly feels like kind of a weird thing to say. But this has been a weird kind of night; maybe he's just off his game. He'll feel better once he's back on patrol in the 'haven tomorrow. ]
As long as we take the kitten with us. He looks like he wants to get back out of here, don't you think?
[ He holds the small creature up, like it's the reason he's saying: yeah, okay. ]
[ Gwen would not call herself a master of subtlety by any means, but she did realize as soon as the thought occurred to her that he might have a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of her having alcohol, because she's so used to that. Growing up with a cop as a dad tended to hammer in stuff like that, and it lingers, even though she's basically living on her own these days, and she could totally call herself eighteen and no one would blink an eye.
But she's got no ulterior motives here, at least not that she's aware of, she's just kind of expecting him to come back with a can of soda rather than what most other people are drinking, and she could tease him about it a bit. But hey, if he's gonna treat her more like an adult than a kid? That's very okay.
Not that he really does that anyway, at the very least not in the obnoxious, condescending kinda way that tends to come from the over forty bracket. Maybe that's why he had a bit of a weird look for a second there, her age just usually doesn't come up. ]
Nope, no drinks for kitty unless they've got catnip tea on tap. [ She stands up to reach for the kitten, gently lifting him from Dick's hands. ] I'll go ahead and take him up, you can meet us there?
[ He gives up the kitten without argument, then winks at her. ]
Sure. Save me a seat, Spider-Woman.
[ She'll be gone in the next moment, so he turns his focus to his own mission – such as it is – and goes in search of drinks.
A few minutes later, climbing the fire escape up to the roof, he has to admit it: it's nicer out here, the breeze snaking through the buildings and cooling him, sticking his shirt to his back with sweat, than it was inside. Maybe he's taking the slow way up, but hey – he's not in costume, and it's just a few flights of metal stairs.
Even so, he hups lightly over the edge of the rooftop, drinks in one hand. Sodas – for both of them. The buzz and muffled sensation of alcohol isn't really something he's chasing, tonight. ]
[ By the time Dick arrives Gwen has made herself relatively comfortable sitting on the edge of a vent cover, and the kitten seems even more so since he's curled up in her lap, tucked in between her crossed legs, apparently somewhat temporarily tired out from all of the excitement of his whirlwind tour around the local skyscrapers. She's been gently scratching his ears and staring out over the glow of the city lights around them, honestly kind of zoning out for a minute or two there. She's good at that. But she does snap out of it when she sees him swing over the ledge with drinks in hand.
She frees up both of her own hands to make a grabby motion toward him, but she's obviously not going to move and disrupt the sanctity of a kitten nap. She's not that much of a monster. ]
Thank you!
[ She's fine with soda. The thing about alcohol is, aside from the fact that she could possibly get in trouble in some places with it, is that she can barely work up more than a brief buzz before her metabolism kicks the whole thing out, so it kinda defeats the whole point. Maybe it's fun for an hour or two, that's about it. ]
Did anybody have something to say about you following my bad example and abandoning the party?
I assume it's all any of them are talking about, now.
[ He hands over her soda and takes a seat next to her, cracking open his own can for a sip of cola, relaxing as he looks up into the sky and savors the quiet of the rooftop.
It's not that he doesn't like people. Unlike Bruce, he's always enjoyed company, always been extroverted and chatty. But there are times when he feels like that's as much of a performance as Bruce's shadows and cloak and ability to pop out of seemingly nowhere. It's a second before he puts his finger on it, but once he does, he glances over at her. ]
It's funny. Being around that many people in one space always makes me feel like I'm back in the center ring. Like I should be doing tricks while they eat popcorn.
[ Which isn't a bad thing. He'd loved his time in the circus. He was born to stand in the spotlight, to draw oohs and ahhs from the crowd.
But once a performer, always a performer, he supposes. He casts an amused glance at the kitten. ]
He does. Being a kitten is tough, you gotta get those naps in when you can.
[ It seems like Dick is in a pensive sorta mood, she can relate, and she does have a lingering tiny bit of unease with the worry that it might be related to what they were talking about before. She knows she can let her enthusiasm get the better of her and get carried away, it'll happen, and that whole thing got a little... okay, weird is the wrong word, that makes it sounds bad, look she just doesn't want to scare off the guy that's become the closest thing to a best friend that she's had since Peter. Hobie's great, she misses Miles like crazy, but this right here? This makes her happy.
When he starts talking about the circus instead her shoulders relax some, where she hadn't even been aware she was tense in the first place, and instead she pushes her thoughts away from all that to think about what it must have been like for him as a performer. Technically she's been one too, but being a drummer in an amateur band was a lot different than being the center of attention and doing what must have been a lot of shows with barely any breathing room between them.
She hums thoughtfully as she takes a sip of her own soda, careful not to jostle the kitten in her lap. ]
That must get exhausting after a while though, yeah? Nothing like when I was doing shows with the Mary Janes. And I mean I know with the superhero thing we're never really off-duty, but when you take off the mask it feels different. To me, anyway.
[ He reaches to gently stroke the sleeping kitten's head, wondering if he ought to ask about the way her shoulders loosen. It might be something to do with why she'd left the party to go swinging around the city in the first place, in which case he doubts she'll want to talk about it, but it could be something else. The energy between them right now feels just slightly off, and he knows he ought to do something about it, but without knowing why – and he's not all that interested in deep introspection, right now – maybe it's better to let it be.
After all, she's relaxed again. So is the kitten; crashed in a way only very young animals can manage. It doesn't wake even as Dick teases its ears. ]
Yeah, but it was a good kind of exhausting. I loved it.
[ The crowds, the scent of popcorn and roasted peanuts. The family they'd made behind the scenes. The spotlight; the applause. He'd loved it all. ]
To me, too.
[ In some ways, he's starting to feel as though Nightwing is who he really is, and Dick Grayson is the mask he wears. He cants a grin at her, crinkle-eyed and teasing. ]
Not going to make fun of me for always needing to be the center of attention? That's a nice change.
[ Since Dick is already close enough to pet the kitten in her lap it's really more of a convenience for both of them for her to scoot very slightly closer so that their shoulders are actually touching. It's a nice contrast to the cool night air, and there's just something about that physical connection that's... nice. It's not all that common for her either, despite having some very good spider friends, having friends at all is still kind of a new concept for her. It makes her laugh at his remark that much lighter and easier. As if it's ever very hard to laugh when he's around. ]
Hey, if you're just going to call yourself out all I have to do is sit back and watch. Easiest roasting I've ever done.
[ She's still grinning as she goes to take another drink of her soda, then setting it aside to stroke the kitten's back, who is nearly vibrating with happy little kitten purrs. She's never had a cat herself but she's been around enough puppies and kittens to know that they'll play hard and then nap hard, and that's a style she can appreciate. She crashes hard too after a long night of webswinging around town or chasing glitches down before they wreck entire dimensions. It's a busy life, but she wouldn't know what to do with herself if she had too much free time.
That might be part of why she ditched the party in the first place. ]
Y'know I was thinking about asking you to come up here before I left, but then I thought maybe that would be too clingy and it seemed like you were having a good time, so... [ So she didn't, she didn't want to be the party's official stick in the mud. ] Buut here we are anyway, huh?
[ He wrinkles his nose at her, but hey – he spends his time with Jason and Tim, Steph and Babs. Even Cass makes fun of him whenever she can. He likes to think it helps her with her language skills. At this point, he's pretty sure it's a sign of affection.
Also affectionate: her shoulder nudging against his. He shifts his arm slightly behind her, letting her fit into the hollow of his shoulder. She's not quite leaning on him, and he's not quite inviting her to lean on him, but it's pretty comfortable to sit this way. No need to overthink it. He leans on that hand, lifts his drink in the other, then glances over at her confession. ]
Please don't give me the opportunity to use the word 'clingy' to describe a spider-person. It's too easy, it makes me feel like you're patronizing me.
[ But she's being sincere, and he doesn't actually want to brush aside her feelings. That would be a dick – ha, ha – thing to do, and it's not like she's wrong. He had been having a good time.
Dick shrugs, sets his drink down, leans back against both hands. ]
I was. But I'm having a good time now, too.
[ He slants a sidelong glance at her, the corner of his mouth rucking up. ]
Besides, the party wasn't as much fun once the coolest girl there decided to try her hand at cat-napping and beat it out the window.
[ Gwen puffs out a playfully dramatic sigh, blowing a few stray strands of blonde hair out of her face in the process. ]
I'd say that not everything has to be a spider pun, but... It kinda does.
[ If Dick's just going to make it easier to lean in against him, because yeah, she caught that, obviously that's exactly what she's going to do.
It wouldn't make any sense to get caught up on it any more than the occasional hand-holding for entirely practical reasons, so she's not doing the overthinking thing. Mostly. Hey, if she can admit that she wanted to drag him up here in the first place it's not that wild to accept that she'd be happy to comfortably slot themselves together like this, and his shoulder just so happens to be at a good height for her to tilt her head back into once he's settling back in after putting his own drink aside.
As much as that was a genuine confession of sorts, she's not dwelling too hard on it. Yeah, she doesn't get to visit quite as often as she'd like and she misses hanging out with him in those gaps between, but she doesn't expect him to drop everything for her when she is here. She's just glad that he accepts her as is. ]
Aw, stop it. [ She scrunches up her face at him, but even that won't stop the smile. ] Everybody you know is cool, I'm just... the freaky spider-girl? I don't know what to do with myself once I run out of party tricks.
I know for a fact you never run out of party tricks.
[ Dick's not a terribly tall guy; he's shorter than Hobie – or at least shorter than Hobie's hair – but Gwen is downright petite. She can tuck herself right into the curve of his shoulder and pillow her head on him without any trouble at all. It means he can't pet the kitten without disturbing her, but the little guy's crash, anyway. Dick can let him sleep.
And anyway, it feels nice. He didn't grow up as a ward of Bruce Wayne and not come out of it with a deep and abiding need for human contact. It's not that Bruce wasn't affectionate... in his way... it's just that he didn't really believe in physical contact that wasn't sparring. Training. Re-aligning. Saving. It was Alfred who offered an embrace, every now and again. No wonder Dick had been so obsessed with Babs, back in their Batgirl and Robin days, when his whole body seemed to sing at every teasing touch.
Not that Gwen is Babs. Not that this is anything like that. ]
Everybody I know is cool, that's true. And that definitely includes you.
[ Sometimes he wonders if there's a Gwen Stacy in his world. If she's anything like the Gwen he knows, she'd be a hell of an addition to the Titans. But then, he really can't imagine anyone like Gwen – she's one of a kind. ]
I'm glad you asked me to come out here. It's nice.
[ Gwen hums in a way that suggests some low-key doubt about her supposedly infinite supply of party tricks, maybe if she really tried she could keep that rolling for long enough to get herself out of the spotlight, she's never tried to test it before. She might have tried to argue the point just for fun, since she does like that kind of back and forth, but honestly? Now that she's distracted, between the soft, fluffy kitten in her lap and the solid, warm shoulder behind her, she's a little lost in the moment and that definitely harshes her banter game. It's a real problem that she will have to deal with—
Eventually. Probably? Or... not. ]
Me too.
[ It is nice up here, so much so that she can almost close her eyes and pretend that her life isn't completely crazy. Sure, it's fun, she's literally never bored anymore, she knows just as many cool people as Dick does, but sometimes she wants something different. Something like this. Which might be one of those times where it's better that she doesn't open her mouth just so she can put her foot in it, but because she's relaxed and happy and everything else has been going so well it's hard to stop herself. ]
You do know that if you told anyone you were coming up here with me then they probably think we're up to something now.
[ What? It's what she would think if it was a couple of her friends sneaking off together. ]
[ Up to something. Up to something. They're not, so it's not a problem, and that's not why she invited him up here to begin with.
Is it? ]
I guess they might, yeah.
[ He knows he has a reputation among his friends. He's friendly, he likes talking to people, getting to know them. And yeah, he likes to flirt. In a life as dangerous as theirs, why not take all the chances you can? ]
Little do they know we're already at the co-kidnapping a cat stage.
[ It falls a little flat; he can feel it. He's not sure he should be joking about getting up to something with Gwen. She's not a kid, and he's not actually that much older than her, but he has the distinct sense that Bruce would disapprove of anything that started fuzzing that line between them.
But is it already kind of fuzzy? If he's being honest with himself, how many people would he invite to lean on his shoulder like this? ]
I'm not sure what stage that is, but it sounds serious.
[ It's funny because that's not what they're doing, right?? But Dick sounds a little conflicted despite going along with the obvious awkward humor of people potentially thinking that they were sneaking off to do something other than play with the kitten and drink sodas up on the roof. Because that's just a common assumption, it's happened to her before. Hanging out with Hobie in and out of parties and shows will do that, even though they really are just friends.
Some people will persistently think that there's more to it, that's just never bothered her at all.
But Dick isn't exactly the same kind of friend, is he? She hasn't examined that too closely before, it's just a different vibe, so maybe that's why this kind of teasing doesn't come off the same way. When she tips her head back to look up at him she's got a thoughtful expression this time. She could just shrug it off and change the subject, that's probably the safest bet, but the last thing she wants to do is make things difficult for him with his other friends, or... potentially more-than-friends.
He could have one of those. He could have several of those for all she knows. ]
Would that be awkward for you? If they thought we were, uh... doing more than talking?
[ He knows what she means! She doesn't have to actually say it, does she? ]
I think it's somewhere between sharing movie theater popcorn and fighting each other's rogues. So yeah, pretty serious.
[ She's not wrong, it's definitely what people would think. Hell, it's probably what he would think, if he were at a party and some guy and girl headed up onto the roof for a little alone time, with or without a cat in tow. Honestly, it wouldn't even be the first time he'd pulled that move.
Except it feels weird and wrong to think of making a move on Gwen. Not because she's not attractive – she objectively is – but just because he already likes her so much and knows her... pretty well, he'd say. As well as anyone in this life knows each other, if they didn't grow up in each other's pockets fighting the same bad guys and monsters. She's not a girl he'd ever try to use a pick-up line on, except to try and make her laugh.
But she's not laughing now. Instead, there's a cute little divot between her brows, like she's thinking hard, considering. Studying him, instead of just being here with him.
He wants to cut that thoughtfulness off at the pass before it develops into outright concern. ]
Nah, it'd be fine.
[ He pushes reassurance into his grin and shrugs, letting her head move with his shoulder. ]
Wally would make fun of me, but Wally always makes fun of me. That's nothing new. And he'd just be jealous anyway. Beautiful evening? Up on the rooftop? Gorgeous girl and a cute kitten for company? He wishes.
[ That one surprised her, because it shouldn't matter, right? Whatever people might think of them the truth of what they do is pretty obvious, they're not sneaking around whenever she visit — actually they spend a lot of that time cruising through Blüdhaven and making their presence the exact opposite of sneaky — anyone who knows Dick at all would be able to tell if something was actually going on between them, wouldn't they? It takes her a second to parse it, her expression smoothing back out into a smile at Dick's casual dismissal of the idea, but what she does realize is that it's not really about what anyone else thinks. It's more about what Dick himself thinks about it.
She just... doesn't want him to think of her as a kid, mostly, which is probably ironic considering that she likes to crack jokes that would impress any discerning twelve year old, but that's just the way her sense of humor runs, and that humor is her best way of coping with the nuclear-level disaster of her personal life and the day to day struggles that come along with the hero thing. Everybody has their thing.
He knows that too, and he hasn't actually treated her like a side-kick or anything, which kinda boils down the worry to a very easy conclusion that she's trying to dance around as they speak while still acting very chill. ]
Gorgeous, huh? [ Way to make her blush, yikes. Not helping. ] You don't think you're laying it on a little thick, do you? I already agreed to run off to Paris with you, you don't have to keep that one going.
[ It's not a big thing. She can portal them halfway across the world in five seconds flat, it's basically like a trip to the corner bodega. And why shouldn't they explore a new city together? ]
My compliments are not contingent on a trip to Paris.
[ But it's possible he actually is making her uncomfortable. Gwen's not really the type to say if she is uncomfortable, but he feels like he's catching something a little different than usual under her jokes, so it's possible he's pushed too far.
Which is pretty much the last thing he wants to do. He doesn't have so many friends he's fine with alienating one, especially one as good as Gwen. Sometimes he feels like she gets him better than even some of the Titans who've known him for years.
Maybe it's because they didn't grow up together. She doesn't have any expectations of him; he doesn't need to be perfect. The good son, the successful leader, the one who picks up after everyone else. He can relax with her in a way he can't with almost anyone else; he doesn't want to screw that up. ]
But I can put a cork in it, if it's bugging you, and just think it to myself instead.
[ It takes Gwen a second to let that sink in, as if she's doing some difficult mental calculations to come up with the fact that he's feeling just as flustered as she is underneath their seemingly endless easy confidence in kinda, sorta almost flirting, and that realization makes her snort softly and then laugh quietly outright, because it's just so ridiculous, isn't it? That they're both dancing around in circles around this despite being completely comfortable with just doing these things, hanging out together whenever she's in town a lot like they're either best friends or something more.
Objectively it's an extremely silly thing to trip over, and maybe it's partly cuddling up to him like this after a nice day but more than that seeing that she's not the only one who struggles with this kind of thing makes her feel braver about taking a chance and resisting the impulse to keep a small but significant bubble of protective space between her and even a guy who she could call her best friend. If that didn't feel like a dangerous thing to say out loud. ]
You know how in those old cartoons where someone would go running right off the edge of a cliff but they'd just keep going and wouldn't fall until they looked down? I think that's us.
[ Ever since the spider thing she thought she would never be afraid of falling again, maybe that's only mostly true. She's not right now though, actually she's scooting slightly so that she's angled toward him enough to rest her cheek against his shoulder while the kitten merely stretches and flops over in a slightly different position to continue napping. ]
Actually I like it better when you say it out loud.
[ His nearest and dearest are by and large brilliant, caring people, but there are reasons why they all dress in costume and go out to punch bad guys in the middle of the night instead of going to therapy, or whatever the other options are. None of them are all that great at talking about their own feelings, and none of them are all that great at not letting the others slip by without facing them.
Except Babs. He can't count the number of times she's called his bluff, called him out on the floor, forced him to explain himself. In Gwen's lap, the kitten yawns and stretches, and he feels a sting of envy for the little creature's simple life.
Or maybe it's that he wishes he could put his head in Gwen's lap, let her run her fingers through his hair instead of through the kitten's fur. It's a clear enough thought that he almost smacks himself in the forehead for not thinking it sooner; or maybe just not acknowledging it? ]
Well, the good thing about us is that once we start falling, we can usually catch ourselves.
[ She shifts, setting her soft cheek against his shoulder, and he makes the executive decision to not just shift his own weight in whatever random way that could be laughed off as an awkward coincidence. He wants to put his arm around her, so he does. Tucks her into the curve of his arm, and she's pretty damn petite, but he's not the tallest or biggest guy, either. He lifts his hand from the rooftop, rests it gently at the dip of her waist. ]
Okay.
[ Dick smiles down at her, at the image she makes leaning into his shoulder. ]
[ That whole metaphor doesn't work as well with people like them, when they're falling all the time on purpose just to gain some momentum, but she thinks that he gets the point. Usually they land on their feet as reliably as any cat does, unless something's gone horribly wrong, yeah, she's just thinking about something else. She's thinking that maybe, sometimes, she's not sure that she wants to catch herself, as reckless as it is to fall with no idea when and where and how she's going to land. To just let go and see where it takes her.
It's not really her fault that her heart does a little skip of a beat when Dick's arm curls around her, she's just sensitive? That whole 'not used to being touched' is very much a thing, at least not in anything other than a casual, passing sorta way, and this doesn't seem so casual. Or maybe it's just because it's Dick, who can say? Hobie slings an arm around her shoulders often enough and that's fine, but—
Is this a moment? It feels kinda like a moment. He's looking at her now and smiling and she's smiling too, her cheeks warmer than ever. The hand that was stroking soothingly over the kitten's back reaches up to pick at some possibly non-existent wrinkles on his shirt. ]
What if... [ wow she does not trust herself with this at all, but the words happen anyway ] what if we just didn't look down?
[ It's not all bad. He could just laugh it off and they can pretend that they're just being silly, talking crap again like they do. They're both dorks, she knows that, as passionately as she would argue that he is, in fact, the only one, so it wouldn't make things too awkward for too long. She's stumbled her way through worse. ]
[ The thing about taking a leap of faith is that, sometimes, there's no safety net and you go crashing to the sawdust floor of the Big Top, breaking on impact and leaving your small child alone in the world.
Just as an example.
He's never really been afraid, though. When he was younger, he had Bruce there to catch him. Now, he catches himself. And he's fallen often and completely, head over heels, giving himself up willingly to the crash just for the joy and vitality of the fall itself. His friends, his exes, they'd all say he falls too easily. But he always does it with his eyes open. He doesn't pretend gravity doesn't exist. He's never wanted to be surprised when it reasserts himself.
Which is the problem with her question, but not the only problem. The problem is: she's seventeen.
Maybe it doesn't matter how he knows she'd have absolutely flattened him if they'd met during his Teen Titan days. And he's not that much older, but those few years suddenly feel like an impassable gulf, when before they were just a detail, one he didn't think about too much.
He's thinking about it now. ]
We always have to look down, Gwen. That's who we are.
[ She reaches to smooth his shirt, and he lifts his own hand to cover the back of hers, even though he just thought –
Sure, maybe he'd enjoyed knowing she harbors a little crush on him. He'd never meant to do anything about it, to lead her on, to make it real – but the thing is, Gwen is great. The last thing he'd expected was to develop a little crush right back.
And he shouldn't, but he keeps his hand over hers, pressing both lightly to his chest. ]
[ All things considered it's very likely that Dick knows her well enough to be aware that Gwen would practically spontaneously teleport herself across fifteen dimensions at the faintest hint of rejection after so much as dipping a toe over the line, like any reasonable person would, but... but. While he's got a look in his eyes that makes her think he's holding something back that he doesn't want to say he's also not pulling away from her. He could, very easily, and Gwen would totally make her best attempt at not hastily pushing the kitten into his hands before making some half-assed excuse and yeeting herself off of the building.
Which is a move that's much less dramatic with people like them than with the average normal human, but still.
His hand is warm against hers, holding her there, and it's effectively an anchor that's keeping her steady, even if it feels like she's getting conflicting signals and she's not sure what's going through his head. It feels... precarious. Like balancing in the middle of a tightrope, poised and not sure which direction she should be moving toward.
It would be hard to argue that she hasn't been kidding herself here. ]
So what happens when we do?
[ Is that what this is? Looking down? Falling? Maybe it's a rhetorical question. So far she's been trying not to shy away from his eyes but she can't help it now, though all that does is mean that she's almost burrowing her face into his shoulder instead, not quite hiding, exactly, just... staying close, breathing in the scent of him, her hand still on his chest. ]
[ He's never been one for thinking ahead. Babs used to tease him about it, but he thinks she appreciated that he lives in the moment. They have to, what other option is there when Darkseid could show up or someone could get stepped on by Giganta or teleported through time?
And right now, he's focused on this moment, on how warm she is in the curve of his arm, as she curls against him. He can feel her breath puffing against his collar and a little against his throat as she turns her face into his shoulder. There's no ignoring the way that feels. He's as susceptible to warm breath on the thin, sensitive skin of his neck as anyone. ]
I don't know.
[ He does try to be honest. He'd hated lying to his friends, his family, when he'd gone undercover in Spyral. Gwen doesn't know that about him, not yet. And isn't that answer enough? This friendship is intense, but it hasn't been long, not yet. There's still a lot to learn about each other.
Or maybe he's just being an idiot. ]
What I do know is that I like hanging out with you. I wouldn't want to screw that up.
[ Yeah, it would be nice if Dick somehow had all the answers, things would be a lot simpler if they just knew, but Gwen doesn't blame him at all for not, and weirdly enough there's something reassuring in that he's fumbling just like she is. It's a world of difference between 'I don't know' and 'I know exactly what this is and it's not that,' so... so at least she's not being laughably naive to even think that there could be a spark of something more than friendship here.
Whether or not they do anything with that is a whole other question, one that's tied up in a lot of complications on both sides, she's just glad that she's not the only one who feels something.
A more something that she realized until just now, as she's leaning in so close and only wanting to get closer. It wouldn't be fair to push it though, even if she's willing to throw all caution to the wind and go with her gut, despite having plenty of reasons not to do that, it would put him on the spot and then he would have to be the reasonable one to say they should quit while they're ahead. ]
You won't lose that, no matter what happens. Not as long as I have a say in it. [ She smiles against his shoulder, shaking her head a little again as she tips her head back up, and this time she presses a soft, brief kiss to his cheek. It just... seems like the thing to do. ] It's getting late, I should probably go.
[ Does she actually want to? Obviously not, but she should. ]
[ Her lips are soft against his cheek, and he wants to close his eyes, lean into the brief touch.
He doesn't let himself. If he did, he's not sure he'd be able to keep from – well. Doing anything that will push them over the edge. Good as they both are at falling, at catching themselves, at getting back up again, he knows a dangerous direction when he sees it.
Just like he knows an out when he sees one. And the very fact that he doesn't want her to go probably means he should let her go. So. ]
Sure.
[ And because it's getting late means something different to people like them, he adds: ] Patrols to go on, bad guys to punch, crime to fight.
[ He curls his fingers under the hand that's resting on his shirt, then pushes lightly up to his feet, reaching for the kitten with his free hand so he can help her up. Like the gentleman he is.
And like the gentleman he is, he lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. ] Go get 'em, Spider-Woman. The night is young, you've still got so many socks to knock off.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Which, she isn't. And that's nothing new, so he's not quite sure why it suddenly feels like kind of a weird thing to say. But this has been a weird kind of night; maybe he's just off his game. He'll feel better once he's back on patrol in the 'haven tomorrow. ]
As long as we take the kitten with us. He looks like he wants to get back out of here, don't you think?
[ He holds the small creature up, like it's the reason he's saying: yeah, okay. ]
But no drinks for him.
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But she's got no ulterior motives here, at least not that she's aware of, she's just kind of expecting him to come back with a can of soda rather than what most other people are drinking, and she could tease him about it a bit. But hey, if he's gonna treat her more like an adult than a kid? That's very okay.
Not that he really does that anyway, at the very least not in the obnoxious, condescending kinda way that tends to come from the over forty bracket. Maybe that's why he had a bit of a weird look for a second there, her age just usually doesn't come up. ]
Nope, no drinks for kitty unless they've got catnip tea on tap. [ She stands up to reach for the kitten, gently lifting him from Dick's hands. ] I'll go ahead and take him up, you can meet us there?
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Sure. Save me a seat, Spider-Woman.
[ She'll be gone in the next moment, so he turns his focus to his own mission – such as it is – and goes in search of drinks.
A few minutes later, climbing the fire escape up to the roof, he has to admit it: it's nicer out here, the breeze snaking through the buildings and cooling him, sticking his shirt to his back with sweat, than it was inside. Maybe he's taking the slow way up, but hey – he's not in costume, and it's just a few flights of metal stairs.
Even so, he hups lightly over the edge of the rooftop, drinks in one hand. Sodas – for both of them. The buzz and muffled sensation of alcohol isn't really something he's chasing, tonight. ]
Your drink order, madam?
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She frees up both of her own hands to make a grabby motion toward him, but she's obviously not going to move and disrupt the sanctity of a kitten nap. She's not that much of a monster. ]
Thank you!
[ She's fine with soda. The thing about alcohol is, aside from the fact that she could possibly get in trouble in some places with it, is that she can barely work up more than a brief buzz before her metabolism kicks the whole thing out, so it kinda defeats the whole point. Maybe it's fun for an hour or two, that's about it. ]
Did anybody have something to say about you following my bad example and abandoning the party?
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[ He hands over her soda and takes a seat next to her, cracking open his own can for a sip of cola, relaxing as he looks up into the sky and savors the quiet of the rooftop.
It's not that he doesn't like people. Unlike Bruce, he's always enjoyed company, always been extroverted and chatty. But there are times when he feels like that's as much of a performance as Bruce's shadows and cloak and ability to pop out of seemingly nowhere. It's a second before he puts his finger on it, but once he does, he glances over at her. ]
It's funny. Being around that many people in one space always makes me feel like I'm back in the center ring. Like I should be doing tricks while they eat popcorn.
[ Which isn't a bad thing. He'd loved his time in the circus. He was born to stand in the spotlight, to draw oohs and ahhs from the crowd.
But once a performer, always a performer, he supposes. He casts an amused glance at the kitten. ]
He looks pretty comfy.
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[ It seems like Dick is in a pensive sorta mood, she can relate, and she does have a lingering tiny bit of unease with the worry that it might be related to what they were talking about before. She knows she can let her enthusiasm get the better of her and get carried away, it'll happen, and that whole thing got a little... okay, weird is the wrong word, that makes it sounds bad, look she just doesn't want to scare off the guy that's become the closest thing to a best friend that she's had since Peter. Hobie's great, she misses Miles like crazy, but this right here? This makes her happy.
When he starts talking about the circus instead her shoulders relax some, where she hadn't even been aware she was tense in the first place, and instead she pushes her thoughts away from all that to think about what it must have been like for him as a performer. Technically she's been one too, but being a drummer in an amateur band was a lot different than being the center of attention and doing what must have been a lot of shows with barely any breathing room between them.
She hums thoughtfully as she takes a sip of her own soda, careful not to jostle the kitten in her lap. ]
That must get exhausting after a while though, yeah? Nothing like when I was doing shows with the Mary Janes. And I mean I know with the superhero thing we're never really off-duty, but when you take off the mask it feels different. To me, anyway.
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After all, she's relaxed again. So is the kitten; crashed in a way only very young animals can manage. It doesn't wake even as Dick teases its ears. ]
Yeah, but it was a good kind of exhausting. I loved it.
[ The crowds, the scent of popcorn and roasted peanuts. The family they'd made behind the scenes. The spotlight; the applause. He'd loved it all. ]
To me, too.
[ In some ways, he's starting to feel as though Nightwing is who he really is, and Dick Grayson is the mask he wears. He cants a grin at her, crinkle-eyed and teasing. ]
Not going to make fun of me for always needing to be the center of attention? That's a nice change.
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Hey, if you're just going to call yourself out all I have to do is sit back and watch. Easiest roasting I've ever done.
[ She's still grinning as she goes to take another drink of her soda, then setting it aside to stroke the kitten's back, who is nearly vibrating with happy little kitten purrs. She's never had a cat herself but she's been around enough puppies and kittens to know that they'll play hard and then nap hard, and that's a style she can appreciate. She crashes hard too after a long night of webswinging around town or chasing glitches down before they wreck entire dimensions. It's a busy life, but she wouldn't know what to do with herself if she had too much free time.
That might be part of why she ditched the party in the first place. ]
Y'know I was thinking about asking you to come up here before I left, but then I thought maybe that would be too clingy and it seemed like you were having a good time, so... [ So she didn't, she didn't want to be the party's official stick in the mud. ] Buut here we are anyway, huh?
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Also affectionate: her shoulder nudging against his. He shifts his arm slightly behind her, letting her fit into the hollow of his shoulder. She's not quite leaning on him, and he's not quite inviting her to lean on him, but it's pretty comfortable to sit this way. No need to overthink it. He leans on that hand, lifts his drink in the other, then glances over at her confession. ]
Please don't give me the opportunity to use the word 'clingy' to describe a spider-person. It's too easy, it makes me feel like you're patronizing me.
[ But she's being sincere, and he doesn't actually want to brush aside her feelings. That would be a dick – ha, ha – thing to do, and it's not like she's wrong. He had been having a good time.
Dick shrugs, sets his drink down, leans back against both hands. ]
I was. But I'm having a good time now, too.
[ He slants a sidelong glance at her, the corner of his mouth rucking up. ]
Besides, the party wasn't as much fun once the coolest girl there decided to try her hand at cat-napping and beat it out the window.
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I'd say that not everything has to be a spider pun, but... It kinda does.
[ If Dick's just going to make it easier to lean in against him, because yeah, she caught that, obviously that's exactly what she's going to do.
It wouldn't make any sense to get caught up on it any more than the occasional hand-holding for entirely practical reasons, so she's not doing the overthinking thing. Mostly. Hey, if she can admit that she wanted to drag him up here in the first place it's not that wild to accept that she'd be happy to comfortably slot themselves together like this, and his shoulder just so happens to be at a good height for her to tilt her head back into once he's settling back in after putting his own drink aside.
As much as that was a genuine confession of sorts, she's not dwelling too hard on it. Yeah, she doesn't get to visit quite as often as she'd like and she misses hanging out with him in those gaps between, but she doesn't expect him to drop everything for her when she is here. She's just glad that he accepts her as is. ]
Aw, stop it. [ She scrunches up her face at him, but even that won't stop the smile. ] Everybody you know is cool, I'm just... the freaky spider-girl? I don't know what to do with myself once I run out of party tricks.
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[ Dick's not a terribly tall guy; he's shorter than Hobie – or at least shorter than Hobie's hair – but Gwen is downright petite. She can tuck herself right into the curve of his shoulder and pillow her head on him without any trouble at all. It means he can't pet the kitten without disturbing her, but the little guy's crash, anyway. Dick can let him sleep.
And anyway, it feels nice. He didn't grow up as a ward of Bruce Wayne and not come out of it with a deep and abiding need for human contact. It's not that Bruce wasn't affectionate... in his way... it's just that he didn't really believe in physical contact that wasn't sparring. Training. Re-aligning. Saving. It was Alfred who offered an embrace, every now and again. No wonder Dick had been so obsessed with Babs, back in their Batgirl and Robin days, when his whole body seemed to sing at every teasing touch.
Not that Gwen is Babs. Not that this is anything like that. ]
Everybody I know is cool, that's true. And that definitely includes you.
[ Sometimes he wonders if there's a Gwen Stacy in his world. If she's anything like the Gwen he knows, she'd be a hell of an addition to the Titans. But then, he really can't imagine anyone like Gwen – she's one of a kind. ]
I'm glad you asked me to come out here. It's nice.
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Eventually.
Probably?
Or... not. ]
Me too.
[ It is nice up here, so much so that she can almost close her eyes and pretend that her life isn't completely crazy. Sure, it's fun, she's literally never bored anymore, she knows just as many cool people as Dick does, but sometimes she wants something different. Something like this. Which might be one of those times where it's better that she doesn't open her mouth just so she can put her foot in it, but because she's relaxed and happy and everything else has been going so well it's hard to stop herself. ]
You do know that if you told anyone you were coming up here with me then they probably think we're up to something now.
[ What? It's what she would think if it was a couple of her friends sneaking off together. ]
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Is it? ]
I guess they might, yeah.
[ He knows he has a reputation among his friends. He's friendly, he likes talking to people, getting to know them. And yeah, he likes to flirt. In a life as dangerous as theirs, why not take all the chances you can? ]
Little do they know we're already at the co-kidnapping a cat stage.
[ It falls a little flat; he can feel it. He's not sure he should be joking about getting up to something with Gwen. She's not a kid, and he's not actually that much older than her, but he has the distinct sense that Bruce would disapprove of anything that started fuzzing that line between them.
But is it already kind of fuzzy? If he's being honest with himself, how many people would he invite to lean on his shoulder like this? ]
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[ It's funny because that's not what they're doing, right?? But Dick sounds a little conflicted despite going along with the obvious awkward humor of people potentially thinking that they were sneaking off to do something other than play with the kitten and drink sodas up on the roof. Because that's just a common assumption, it's happened to her before. Hanging out with Hobie in and out of parties and shows will do that, even though they really are just friends.
Some people will persistently think that there's more to it, that's just never bothered her at all.
But Dick isn't exactly the same kind of friend, is he? She hasn't examined that too closely before, it's just a different vibe, so maybe that's why this kind of teasing doesn't come off the same way. When she tips her head back to look up at him she's got a thoughtful expression this time. She could just shrug it off and change the subject, that's probably the safest bet, but the last thing she wants to do is make things difficult for him with his other friends, or... potentially more-than-friends.
He could have one of those. He could have several of those for all she knows. ]
Would that be awkward for you? If they thought we were, uh... doing more than talking?
[ He knows what she means! She doesn't have to actually say it, does she? ]
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[ She's not wrong, it's definitely what people would think. Hell, it's probably what he would think, if he were at a party and some guy and girl headed up onto the roof for a little alone time, with or without a cat in tow. Honestly, it wouldn't even be the first time he'd pulled that move.
Except it feels weird and wrong to think of making a move on Gwen. Not because she's not attractive – she objectively is – but just because he already likes her so much and knows her... pretty well, he'd say. As well as anyone in this life knows each other, if they didn't grow up in each other's pockets fighting the same bad guys and monsters. She's not a girl he'd ever try to use a pick-up line on, except to try and make her laugh.
But she's not laughing now. Instead, there's a cute little divot between her brows, like she's thinking hard, considering. Studying him, instead of just being here with him.
He wants to cut that thoughtfulness off at the pass before it develops into outright concern. ]
Nah, it'd be fine.
[ He pushes reassurance into his grin and shrugs, letting her head move with his shoulder. ]
Wally would make fun of me, but Wally always makes fun of me. That's nothing new. And he'd just be jealous anyway. Beautiful evening? Up on the rooftop? Gorgeous girl and a cute kitten for company? He wishes.
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She just... doesn't want him to think of her as a kid, mostly, which is probably ironic considering that she likes to crack jokes that would impress any discerning twelve year old, but that's just the way her sense of humor runs, and that humor is her best way of coping with the nuclear-level disaster of her personal life and the day to day struggles that come along with the hero thing. Everybody has their thing.
He knows that too, and he hasn't actually treated her like a side-kick or anything, which kinda boils down the worry to a very easy conclusion that she's trying to dance around as they speak while still acting very chill. ]
Gorgeous, huh? [ Way to make her blush, yikes. Not helping. ] You don't think you're laying it on a little thick, do you? I already agreed to run off to Paris with you, you don't have to keep that one going.
[ It's not a big thing. She can portal them halfway across the world in five seconds flat, it's basically like a trip to the corner bodega. And why shouldn't they explore a new city together? ]
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[ But it's possible he actually is making her uncomfortable. Gwen's not really the type to say if she is uncomfortable, but he feels like he's catching something a little different than usual under her jokes, so it's possible he's pushed too far.
Which is pretty much the last thing he wants to do. He doesn't have so many friends he's fine with alienating one, especially one as good as Gwen. Sometimes he feels like she gets him better than even some of the Titans who've known him for years.
Maybe it's because they didn't grow up together. She doesn't have any expectations of him; he doesn't need to be perfect. The good son, the successful leader, the one who picks up after everyone else. He can relax with her in a way he can't with almost anyone else; he doesn't want to screw that up. ]
But I can put a cork in it, if it's bugging you, and just think it to myself instead.
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Objectively it's an extremely silly thing to trip over, and maybe it's partly cuddling up to him like this after a nice day but more than that seeing that she's not the only one who struggles with this kind of thing makes her feel braver about taking a chance and resisting the impulse to keep a small but significant bubble of protective space between her and even a guy who she could call her best friend. If that didn't feel like a dangerous thing to say out loud. ]
You know how in those old cartoons where someone would go running right off the edge of a cliff but they'd just keep going and wouldn't fall until they looked down? I think that's us.
[ Ever since the spider thing she thought she would never be afraid of falling again, maybe that's only mostly true. She's not right now though, actually she's scooting slightly so that she's angled toward him enough to rest her cheek against his shoulder while the kitten merely stretches and flops over in a slightly different position to continue napping. ]
Actually I like it better when you say it out loud.
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Except Babs. He can't count the number of times she's called his bluff, called him out on the floor, forced him to explain himself. In Gwen's lap, the kitten yawns and stretches, and he feels a sting of envy for the little creature's simple life.
Or maybe it's that he wishes he could put his head in Gwen's lap, let her run her fingers through his hair instead of through the kitten's fur. It's a clear enough thought that he almost smacks himself in the forehead for not thinking it sooner; or maybe just not acknowledging it? ]
Well, the good thing about us is that once we start falling, we can usually catch ourselves.
[ She shifts, setting her soft cheek against his shoulder, and he makes the executive decision to not just shift his own weight in whatever random way that could be laughed off as an awkward coincidence. He wants to put his arm around her, so he does. Tucks her into the curve of his arm, and she's pretty damn petite, but he's not the tallest or biggest guy, either. He lifts his hand from the rooftop, rests it gently at the dip of her waist. ]
Okay.
[ Dick smiles down at her, at the image she makes leaning into his shoulder. ]
Then I guess I'll keep on doing just that.
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It's not really her fault that her heart does a little skip of a beat when Dick's arm curls around her, she's just sensitive? That whole 'not used to being touched' is very much a thing, at least not in anything other than a casual, passing sorta way, and this doesn't seem so casual. Or maybe it's just because it's Dick, who can say? Hobie slings an arm around her shoulders often enough and that's fine, but—
Is this a moment? It feels kinda like a moment. He's looking at her now and smiling and she's smiling too, her cheeks warmer than ever. The hand that was stroking soothingly over the kitten's back reaches up to pick at some possibly non-existent wrinkles on his shirt. ]
What if... [ wow she does not trust herself with this at all, but the words happen anyway ] what if we just didn't look down?
[ It's not all bad. He could just laugh it off and they can pretend that they're just being silly, talking crap again like they do. They're both dorks, she knows that, as passionately as she would argue that he is, in fact, the only one, so it wouldn't make things too awkward for too long. She's stumbled her way through worse. ]
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Just as an example.
He's never really been afraid, though. When he was younger, he had Bruce there to catch him. Now, he catches himself. And he's fallen often and completely, head over heels, giving himself up willingly to the crash just for the joy and vitality of the fall itself. His friends, his exes, they'd all say he falls too easily. But he always does it with his eyes open. He doesn't pretend gravity doesn't exist. He's never wanted to be surprised when it reasserts himself.
Which is the problem with her question, but not the only problem. The problem is: she's seventeen.
Maybe it doesn't matter how he knows she'd have absolutely flattened him if they'd met during his Teen Titan days. And he's not that much older, but those few years suddenly feel like an impassable gulf, when before they were just a detail, one he didn't think about too much.
He's thinking about it now. ]
We always have to look down, Gwen. That's who we are.
[ She reaches to smooth his shirt, and he lifts his own hand to cover the back of hers, even though he just thought –
Sure, maybe he'd enjoyed knowing she harbors a little crush on him. He'd never meant to do anything about it, to lead her on, to make it real – but the thing is, Gwen is great. The last thing he'd expected was to develop a little crush right back.
And he shouldn't, but he keeps his hand over hers, pressing both lightly to his chest. ]
Anything else is just kidding ourselves.
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Which is a move that's much less dramatic with people like them than with the average normal human, but still.
His hand is warm against hers, holding her there, and it's effectively an anchor that's keeping her steady, even if it feels like she's getting conflicting signals and she's not sure what's going through his head. It feels... precarious. Like balancing in the middle of a tightrope, poised and not sure which direction she should be moving toward.
It would be hard to argue that she hasn't been kidding herself here. ]
So what happens when we do?
[ Is that what this is? Looking down? Falling? Maybe it's a rhetorical question. So far she's been trying not to shy away from his eyes but she can't help it now, though all that does is mean that she's almost burrowing her face into his shoulder instead, not quite hiding, exactly, just... staying close, breathing in the scent of him, her hand still on his chest. ]
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And right now, he's focused on this moment, on how warm she is in the curve of his arm, as she curls against him. He can feel her breath puffing against his collar and a little against his throat as she turns her face into his shoulder. There's no ignoring the way that feels. He's as susceptible to warm breath on the thin, sensitive skin of his neck as anyone. ]
I don't know.
[ He does try to be honest. He'd hated lying to his friends, his family, when he'd gone undercover in Spyral. Gwen doesn't know that about him, not yet. And isn't that answer enough? This friendship is intense, but it hasn't been long, not yet. There's still a lot to learn about each other.
Or maybe he's just being an idiot. ]
What I do know is that I like hanging out with you. I wouldn't want to screw that up.
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Whether or not they do anything with that is a whole other question, one that's tied up in a lot of complications on both sides, she's just glad that she's not the only one who feels something.
A more something that she realized until just now, as she's leaning in so close and only wanting to get closer. It wouldn't be fair to push it though, even if she's willing to throw all caution to the wind and go with her gut, despite having plenty of reasons not to do that, it would put him on the spot and then he would have to be the reasonable one to say they should quit while they're ahead. ]
You won't lose that, no matter what happens. Not as long as I have a say in it. [ She smiles against his shoulder, shaking her head a little again as she tips her head back up, and this time she presses a soft, brief kiss to his cheek. It just... seems like the thing to do. ] It's getting late, I should probably go.
[ Does she actually want to? Obviously not, but she should. ]
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He doesn't let himself. If he did, he's not sure he'd be able to keep from – well. Doing anything that will push them over the edge. Good as they both are at falling, at catching themselves, at getting back up again, he knows a dangerous direction when he sees it.
Just like he knows an out when he sees one. And the very fact that he doesn't want her to go probably means he should let her go. So. ]
Sure.
[ And because it's getting late means something different to people like them, he adds: ] Patrols to go on, bad guys to punch, crime to fight.
[ He curls his fingers under the hand that's resting on his shirt, then pushes lightly up to his feet, reaching for the kitten with his free hand so he can help her up. Like the gentleman he is.
And like the gentleman he is, he lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. ] Go get 'em, Spider-Woman. The night is young, you've still got so many socks to knock off.
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